Is Valentine’s Day difficult for you?

With so much focus from the outside world about finding love, being in relationship, and “happily ever after” type images plastered everywhere, it can feel difficult to those of us who aren’t in relationship…

As Valentine’s Day approaches, it can feel even more difficult to feel happy and complete if you are single.

As someone who was single for many, many years (last year, it was 9 years since I was in a committed relationship), I can sympathize with those of you who are feeling like society makes you feel “less than” for being alone. Luckily, I had always had a deep belief that it is better to be alone than in a bad relationship… But that doesn’t mean that I didn’t still feel lonely and long for something different.

This was a time of the year that felt particularly difficult for me… Valentine’s Day always felt like a big cultural statement about how socially valued being in a romantic relationship was. Not being in relationship as couples were going out to dinner, guys were sending their girlfriends or wives chocolate and flowers and everything love was shoved in my face often left me feeling depressed… In the week leading up to the big day, dread would grow in my heart and mind.

My experience of Valentine’s Day began to change last year, when I changed the name for myself to “Love Day” and decided to show myself the sort of love and affection that I hoped to someday receive from a partner. I also focused on spreading love to all those important people in my life- family and friends, as well as leaving notes around public places on post-it notes saying things like “You are amazing!” and “You are beautiful”. I felt love growing inside my heart and expanding outward to others.

For the first time in my life, I actually ENJOYED Valentine’s Day because I just felt love of myself and love of those around me! It felt like a powerful transformation and shift in my life and part of my own journey to be ready for love.

So if you struggle with the Valentine’s Day blues, remember these tips:

1) Take time to show yourself love and appreciation on Valentine’s Day and every day. Self-love is truly the root of all love and finding a romantic partner without having self-love is not the best approach.

2) Try experimenting with leaving special “love notes” on post-it notes (they even sell heart shaped ones at this time of year) everywhere you go on Valentine’s Day and just in general. Write positive messages for those who will come across them and leave them on bathroom mirrors, on shelves in a grocery store, wherever you can think.

3) Remember that although society tries to make you believe that being in a relationship is what gives your life meaning and value, this is not true. Your life is valuable and worthy just because of who you are… not who you are with!

I hope you’ve found some insight and comfort in this post. There is truly nothing wrong with you if you are single! 

If you feel like you could still use some support in shifting your feelings around being single (and possibly preparing your heart for true love), check out my FREE “Unlock My Love Mojo Strategy Session” call!

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  1. Stacey on February 5, 2015 at 11:33 pm

    Great post Lyn! I know how you feel. I’ve been single for a long time too and can certainly relate to those feelings. Like you this year I’ve decided enough with the wallowing and avoidance. I’m gonna celebrate me instead. One thing I have done on a Valentine’s day in the past that was awesome was accept an invitation to a friends get together. She organised a “lonely-hearts” club dinner where all of us (both guys and girls) that didn’t have anyone got together for a lovely roast dinner. We had a great night just chatting amongst each other. Wasn’t like trying to hook the singles up or anything it was just a great night to do something rather than spending it alone!

    • admin on February 6, 2015 at 1:45 am

      Stacey, glad you’ve been able to shift your experience of Valentine’s Day and not feel so isolated. That is such a great change!

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